Sexism in Scriptures and in Life

One subject that I have found to be a big myth is the stigma of women in the observant community.  The secular world is convinced that women are treated as subservient citizens and it is all because the Bible treats them as such.  I had the exact same belief before I became observant since I had only lived in secular communities (about 48 years worth) which perpetuated that stereotype.  I didn’t know any observant Jews and could only believe what I had heard about them.  Then two things happened in my life.  One was a deeper analysis of what scriptures really says and the other was moving into an observant Torah community, meeting these wonderful people and experiencing the exact opposite of what I was led to believe. 

First of all, let us review what it says in scriptures.  The most amazing thing that I discovered was it is very one sided but against men not women.  “Women are at a higher spiritual level than men could ever be.”  What is the basis for that statement?  Because women can experience life in them and men can’t.  It is the primary reason that women are not obligated to fulfill many of the commandments.  Women are above the need for many commandments.  We see throughout scriptures that the women are more righteous than the men.  The original sin, as I had discussed yesterday, was mostly due to Adam not repenting his mistake.  We have additional insight into how a wife should assist her husband.  Hashem separated Adam and Eve and said that she should be “ezer kenegdo,” a helper parallel to him (Genesis 2:18).  This has an interesting connotation that in English we stress the first word a “helper” almost making her sound like a servant to him.  More accurately, the second word “parallel” or, I have even seen it translated as “against” him.  This makes her totally equal a partner who should even keep him straight when he makes mistakes.  She is there not to serve him but to work together on an equal basis and maybe even keep him out of trouble.  Maybe it isn’t so equal after all which is why we call our wives “our better half.” 

We are told that Sarah was more of a prophetess than Abraham being a prophet.   Isaac was not aware of the deception of his son Esau but Rivka was able to help Jacob achieve the birthright and perpetuate the will of Hashem.  Both Rachel and Leah were very wise and of great help to Jacob.  When the father of Moses, Amram, a leader in the community, decided to prevent further killings of the Jewish male babies, he required the men to divorce their wives. It was the wisdom and foresight of his daughter Miriam that changed his mind.  As a result of the prophecy that she experienced, her brother, Moses was born -- the deliver of the Jew people.  Shifra and Puah (who were really Yocheved and Miriam) acted as midwives and saved many Jewish babies.  The greatness of Queen Esther in her role that saved the Jews in Persia (the celebration of Purim) or Jehudit the one whose bravery helped save the Jews (the celebration of Chanukah) or the greatness of Chanah, Chulda, Michal, etc.  The fact that the women were not in favor of building the Golden Calf or that they did not believe the negative reports of the spies are very indicative of the much higher spiritual level that women have throughout history.  Many are not aware that because ten of the spies did come back with a negative report and the fact that the men didn’t have the high level of faith and trust in Hashem as the women did, there were two punishments that resulted.  One is that the Israelites would have to remain in the desert for 40 years, one year for each day that the spies were away (there is no validity to the fact that they were in the desert for 40 years because men refuse to ask for directions).  The other is that from that time on when men pray they will require a quorum of ten men in order to bring down the Shechinah, the divine presence of Hashem, one man for each negative spy.  Never think that women cannot be counted as part of a minion is a sexist of prejudicial act.  It is that women are at the higher level and don’t require this punishment of ten in order to pray to Hashem.  Women should never lower themselves to the level of men by wanting to be included in the minion.   (It’s interesting that this spirit of Hashem is a feminine word, which negates the poor English translation of Hashem as He.  Hashem is neither a He nor She.  But, the different qualities of His essence are considered masculine or feminine and the words demonstrate those qualities that men and women are individually blessed with from Hashem).  You get the idea.  The roles that women played and tremendous sacrifice that we see throughout scriptures is very much in favor of the Jewish woman and not men.  One incident in Torah that shows the weakness of men is when the righteous Joseph was confronted by the wife of Potifar.  Joseph was said to be a very handsome man that the women swooned over.  When he was made a servant in the house of Potifar, the captain of the palace guards, Potifar’s wife made a play for the handsome Joseph.  Joseph knew that men, including him, were not strong and could give into temptation, ran from the house.  Sometimes one passes a test by running from the situation.    

One of the most important roles of the married Jewish couple is to “be fruitful and multiply.”  Bringing new Jewish souls into the world is a very prominent factor in the process of perfecting the world.  The world will not be perfected until all the Jewish souls in Heaven have come to Earth and have been rectified individually (this is much more involved than what I am saying here).  The woman takes on the very important role of teacher of life within a household.  Her nurturing of the children is the greatest element for the success of the family and in turn the entire Jewish community.  The training of Jewish children to become righteous adults can be attributed to the high level of righteousness of the Jewish woman.  What I have experienced is that Jewish men hold their wives in high regard since most households are very successful in bringing fruition to the will of Hashem.

There is another great misunderstanding in the customs of the observant community -- the separation of men and women in prayer service.  As demonstrated in the story of Joseph, men are weak.  When you have a situation such a prayer that requires complete concentration and not lip service to perform it properly, no man could ever convince me that he can handle the great spiritual involvement with a woman in his site.  I’ve said it before, any man that tells me he can handle it is either a liar or a homosexual.  There are other hidden factors in the separation of men and women.  One is Hashem wishes no individual to be embarrassed.  When men and women sit together it becomes obvious if you see a single man or a single women sitting alone.  People gossip.  They look at the individual, especially if the person is older and wonder why that person doesn’t have a spouse.  We eliminate any possibility of embarrassment by having men sit with men and women sitting with women.   Another embarrassment is that no individual should touch a Torah if he or she is ritually impure (this would require much explanation as to what impurity means – but whatever you think it is, is probably incorrect since it is a spiritual matter not physical).  The time of the monthly cycle renders a woman impure.  If a woman was in seat in the synagogue that she could reach the Torah or could be asked, as the men are, to take the Torah out of the Ark, it would be an embarrassment if the woman declined or shied away from the Torah and everyone suspected the reason.

   

It is fascinating to know that for thousands of years men and women were always separated in prayer service even in the church.  When the enlightenment came in the mid 1800s the church so-called modernized and combined the sexes.  The Jewish Reform movement which mimicked the church in most of its customs followed suite.  This is the only reason the so-called modern Jewish movements have combined seating.  It is not the will of Hashem.

From the book “Tefillin” by Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan z”tl

Tefillin are a most wonderful way to bind oneself to Hashem.  But, it is only for men.  Where do women come in?  On a most simple level, the reason for the commandments is to establish a link with Hashem.  The most profound way to do this is to resemble Him.  There is one unique way that women resemble Hashem in a way that no man could ever hope to.  Only a woman can create within her body.  Only a woman can bear a child.  In this sense, a woman partakes of Hashem’s attributes more intimately than any man.  The Kabbalists teach us that the hand Tefillin represent the feminine element.  The single hollow can be said to represent the womb, and the coils, the umbilical cord.  What man partakes of with an object, woman partakes of with her very body.  The box of Tefillin is called a Bayis -- literally a house. The woman also has her Bayis -- the home in which she raises a family.  One could say that a woman's home is her Tefillin.

There are two basic elements in Judaism, the home and the  synagogue. Judaism treats the home and synagogue as being co-equal. Some of our most important rituals belong exclusively to the home, such as the Seder, the Succah, the Sabbath table, the Sabbath candles and the Chanukah lamp. The continuity of Judaism rests on the home more than anything else.  This Bayis, the home, is a woman's Tefillin.  It is her contribution to the overall picture of Hashem’s purpose.  It is interesting to note that Hashem told all, from Moses to Jacob, and teach the sons of Israel: “If the Torah does not enter the Jewish home first, there can be no continuity of Judaism.  This spirit of Torah in the Jewish home (Bayis) is the same as the parchments of Torah in the Tefillin box (Bayis).  But this is the domain of the woman.

Additionally, the Tallit or prayer shawl is a reminder to men to perform the 613 commandments. Women do not need this reminder and are therefore not obligated to wear a Tallit.  Woman who would like to wear either a Tallit or Tefillin are lowering themselves to the level and weaknesses of a man.  Let us do things the way Hashem commanded and not attribute any custom to the .arrogance of men or the misconception of prejudice to women

I probably could never fully articulate the true aspects of the high attributes of Jewish women – after all, I’m a man, what do I know.  But having had a very extensive comparison of the way women are treated in the secular world to the pedestal treatment they receive in the Jewish observant world, I can say without reservation that they are not even close.  I have observed such prejudicial treatment of women in secular life, at school, in the military and at the work place.  This behavior would be considered appalling to the observant Jewish community.  When people believe that it is the flawed rules and customs made up by men that we follow instead of the perfect guidance of Hashem, they are greatly deceived.  When they realize that Hashem’s system is perfect, only then can they also enjoy the happiness that the system of this world has to offer.  The observant Jewish community has the happiest people in the world with the best behaved children, the lowest divorce rate, the most successful marriages and by far the greatest peace of mind.  When you follow and trust Hashem it is easy.  Are we perfect in following Hashem’s system?  Definitely not but that is what life is all about – perfecting ourselves so that our eternal life can be the best.  “Be all that you can be” is not just for the US Army.  The truest accomplishment of that motto in the world is with the observant Jewish community.  Don’t argue with 

success.