Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Reality Check

When I started to write my book 23 years ago I called it “Reality Check.” I wanted to tell what the system is in this world and what our obligations are. By reassuring you that the only way to happiness, success and a wonderful life here on Earth and for eternity is by doing the will of the Creator of it all, I hoped to make everything for you as pleasant as could be. So as I described the system and what we had to do for this correction, this perfection of a life; I asked everyone reading my words to do a reality check. In other words, here is the system in the world, what are you personally doing or not doing to succeed or fail.

I wrote in the book and on this blog some very definite instructions to help you. Of course, I am telling you Hashem’s guidance to obtain the best of everything; I only put it in my words. I need not repeat the blog post but invite you to go to the post and refresh your memory (if new to this blog, enjoy): The Key to Happiness

I bring this up at this time since our biggest problem that we have these days is the severe testing of the end of time. I am getting a lot of personal Email, letting me know that it is a big concern of my readers.

I am going to get a little bit harsh in my analysis. I will apologize later, but for now it is time for a reality check. There is nothing in this world that is random. There is nothing by accident, by coincidence, by chance; there is nothing by luck. Everything that happens to each one of us is by design, measure for measure (there he goes again with his favorite expression), according to what we need. That means (here is the harsh reality): we bring on and cause whatever problems we have. If we have sickness, money problems, marital problems, children problems, neighbor problems, (this list is possibly infinite, so time for cut off), etc, etc, etc, WE BROUGHT IT ON OURSELVES!!!!!!
I apologize, but that doesn’t let us off the hook.

As part of our reality check, meaning a self-evaluation of this concept, we come across the human characteristic of: “It wasn’t me that caused this; it was him or her or them or whomever I can blame.” We don’t like to hear such a message even if it hits home and is 100% true. Our looking for someone to blame is so human. The problem is similar to the reason for Jew-hatred: if you can’t kill the message, kill the messenger.

I have been getting a lot of readers using me as a scapegoat recently. They don’t like the message that I am trying to convey from Hashem, so I get blamed for their problems. “Stop telling me that I should move to Israel, when I have 999 excuses for not moving.” “Stop telling me that I have financial difficulties, when I have umpteen reasons for the problem, and as many people to point the finger at.” Am I saying that all your reasons are not valid? No, I am saying that you caused all those reasons, since Hashem saw well in advance what you would do according to His will, and what you were lacking, and where you needed help. I have said that I have observe tens of thousands of people over a half century and it is totally consistent.

I became a focal point for blame; after all I am the one pointing out this information from Hashem. I don’t mind if you blame me, if it makes people feel better, go right ahead. But, it doesn’t solve your problems. My entire premise is that turning to Hashem and following His very definite instructions is the only way to solve those problems.

I have a very unique situation in life. I am old enough to give Mussar. But, as it is brought down (Sota 49, Sanhedrin 97 and elsewhere), nobody these days wants to hear good advice on how to solve problems. If we won’t even take credit for causing the problem, why do you need someone like me to tell you what to do? Also, (I get this a lot), you don’t know me, and have no idea of my problems. Good point, except, since these problems all come from the same Source, it doesn’t make any difference what the problem is or how severe; the solution is also from that same Source.

I am writing all this for one and only one purpose: to continue to help good people. I care, especially since the solution is so, so simple. We live in very frustrating times, but they are not times to give up or look for excuses, but to do true Teshuvah and solve problems. Do a legitimate reality check and realize what the real problem truly is and what the only solution is.

All that you bring up these days will be resolved. The unsheathing of the sun will solve the medical problems; the moving to Israel for the whole family will be so simple. Everything will happen exactly as you want; all you need to do is completely turn to Hashem to make it as easy as possible. There are always two ways to solve problems, (1) the easy way and (2) the difficult way. I am just suggesting: choice number one. Hashem is with infinite mercy, with infinite caring, with infinite love for each of us. Take advantage of it all.

I would like to repeat a short explanation in the Key to Happiness that I recommended above. It is absolutely the best explanation of the system on Earth that we live under. It is the solution to all our prayers:
I asked for strength, and Hashem gave me difficulties to make me strong

I asked for wisdom, and Hashem gave me problems to solve

I asked for prosperity, and Hashem gave me brawn and brain to work

I asked for courage, and Hashem gave me dangers to overcome

I asked for love, and Hashem gave me troubled people to help

I asked for favors, and Hashem gave me opportunities

I received nothing I wanted; I received everything I needed

My prayers were answered.
That is reality.


  1. What Rav Menachem is saying is 200% truth. One must have emuna, and with emuna, even if things do not make total sense to you, it will at least give you a starting point to reflect on what you must change. You can study Rav Menachem's book or if you wish pick up a copy of The Garden of Emuna by Shalom Arush and study it. Read the books at least 3 times and make their teaching a part of your life. I could give 100 personal examples where Hashem sent me messages in my every day life. Little things that most people would call coincidence turned out to be messages from Hashem if one just takes the time to examine. There are no accidents in this world. EVERYTHING comes from Hashem, and it comes for a reason. Little things like stubbing your toe comes from Hashem and it comes with a message for those open to seeing the message. Can you tell that this is one of the things I am passionate about? Now, don't get me started on tzedakah. I could go on for days. :-)

  2. I was going to be quiet but no more...Right now, I am too upset at some people who,incapable of self reflection and filled with arrogance,choose to attack & criticize a teacher who only wants to show them the derech to happiness - including a "good" eternal life. Get over yourselves people and stop the belly aching, complaining (even when things are going relatively well) and crying.
    Over the years I have cried myself a river until i understood that it is all from Hashem. The purpose: much needed soul correction because he loves us! Yes, nothing is random and there is meaning and harmony in all this (seeming) balagan. We may not see it or understand it. That is allright...must trust his love and divine providence. Quit testing our teacher and pouring out your anger at someone who just wants the best for you and your family. There, got it off my chest and will sleep better now...Ms. AP

    1. I thank you for your very sensible words, but no matter what you or I say, nobody is going to be less human. Many things that I have said are far beyond human comprehension.

      In these days of the most upside-down fantasy world possible, it is extremely frustrating for people to even grasp the absolute truth let alone live it. I have said all along, we will get to a point where things will be so scary for those who are lost, and so miraculous for those who are following Hashem, that everyone will get what he or she needs and will go on the right path. Those who don't, will be eliminated. Those who finally see the light, will by as happy as can be. No more frustration, no more challenge, no more testing, only goodness and the obvious presence of our Maker.

  3. Shalom Rav, just read your latest post. It makes sense indeed.
    But sometimes Hashem may just sent a test.. not because a person did something wrong and thus its :measure for measure.

    But just that Hashem may want to see how we will view the particular problem He has thrust upon one.
    Now that is a test.. from Hashem - not necessarily that the person is having a problem becuase he/she did some wrong.
    That means, if you stubbed your toe, like you have stated in a blog post, then you did something wrong,, nu?
    And because you too have learnt through hard knocks of life, you are now today in a place that you can reach out to help people.
    Also one must not forget, sometimes, it takes some a long time to learn..
    Hashem loves each human.. and sees to what and how the person thinks. I can testify on my own behalf, that i had to live alsmost to my 70's before i reallyl began to grasp what life is and also who the Creator is.
    Not that i have not seen Hashem's Hand reach out to help me many times while a girl, a teenager, a woman, and wife and mother.
    I was not really the perfect person, yet Hashem helped me.
    I could write a book about how he did help me, even when i never turned to H-m.

    So perhaps, people - especially at this point in time need some gentleness.. and ofcourse you have helped me many times to when i approached you with problems. But thats what we are there for.. to help one another.. gently and in a nice way..
    Thank you Rav.,, for reading and for any answer that follows. I just have this natural tendency built within me that i can feel the pain of others. Its a gift of Hashem.. and i appreciate it, and when i can not help in any direct way.. i keep them in prayers.

    Hashem bless you and all who come here. Amen.

    1. What you are saying is good, but it is a lot more complicated.

      When I say that Hashem tests us to give us what we need, it is not always for something done incorrectly. I have mentioned before that Avraham was tested ten times with such severe testing that most of us couldn't handle. Why, when he was already the world's greatest Tzadik of that time? Hashem knows our potential and sees who has the ability to be even greater than his or her present status. Avraham was set up for an eternity of greatness beyond our comprehension.

      It is interesting that sometimes the people who need the least amount of Teshuvah, are the ones who do the most. We must never think that we have reached our potential, but always strive for higher, after all it is our eternity we are preparing for.

  4. Rav Menahem, I miss your U Tube videos! How about a series covering the different chapters of your book? The timing is excellent....
    Warm Regards to All, Ms. AP

    1. I have two problems with videos. One is that I have readers who are not English speakers. They can translate the words with the translator that I provide in the right column, but the video is lost to them.

      The second problem is that it invites idolaters to comment. I get occasional nonsense on this blog, but on YouTube one gets nasty, low-life, even evil comments. I have started a blog post about that subject, since it depicts the high degree of Jew-hatred in the world these days.

      Even non-controversial subjects get hammered with filth, you know people in the 2/3rd group.

  5. I think YouTube gives you an option to not allow comments.

    1. It does. The comment appears there first and then I have the option to remove it. If I don't see it right away, I have no idea how many good people have seen it before its removal.

  6. No, I mean isn't there an upfront setting when you first upload to disable any commenting at all? I seem to remember one when I uploaded a something a while back.

    1. I have that on this blog, but not YouTube. On YouTube I get a notification of a comment after the fact. I have to go to the video and remove it, if it is improper. Since I have made comments on many YouTube videos, I get many notifications both on my videos and others on which I have commented. It could be days before I read them. They all come to me on the same Email account, and I go to them last. My comments here are the most important. I could get 50 to 100 Emails on days that I have posted.

  7. Anonymous sent me this comment that I had to change one word, six times, before posting. The word was the G name for Hashem, that I changed above from the original. I know the spelling out of Hashem's name appears many places, but I avoid it on this blog, since there is a commandment to "not take His name in vane." I am aware that this is using His name with great respect, but since there are readers who copy my posts, including comments, putting such names on printed paper, we must be very cautious. The paper may be discarded improperly at a later date, which would be in violation of the commandment.
    Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Reality Check":

    Shalom and Shavua Tov to all,
    Rav Menachem, those words you posted above, were from someone anonymous written long ago.
    They are priceless.. and who ever wrote them was a someone with great wisdom.
    You have just changed the words a little, but here is for anyone who would like to read the original:

    "I asked for strength,
    and G-d gave me difficulties to make me strong.
    I asked for wisdom,
    and G-d gave me problems to solve.
    I asked for prosperity,
    and G-d gave me brawn and brain to work.
    I asked for courage,
    and G-d gave me dangers to overcome.
    I asked for love,
    and G-d gave me troubled people to help.
    I asked for favors,
    and G-d gave me opportunities.
    I received nothing I wanted.
    I received everything I needed.
    My prayers were answered. "
    - Unknown

    Beautiful words of wisdom always.
    Thank you. You are correct that this is old. I believe I saw it at an Aish HaTorah discovery seminar in 1993. I believe that Aish it the source of the words, which I agree are "Beautiful words of wisdom always."

  8. "I am writing all this for one and only one purpose:"

    To satisfy my massive ego.

    1. I don't mind, but you might want to do that as a private Email, not as a comment. There have been topics that you have questioned that I would like to answer you, but it was inappropriate as a subject for my readers. I am happy to help you anyway that I can, just on a personal basis.

  9. Dear Absolute Truth, from day one that I started to read your blog I have had misgiving about the name of your blog. The content is all good, but nobody has the absolute truth. The wisdom you share would still be wisdom, but please change the name, maybe to Absolute Torah or something else. Thank you for all the time you put in to giving your fellow human being help on the way.

    1. The Absolute Truth is the Torah, the word of Hashem. When I quote something from the Tenach, Zohar, Talmud, Midrash, Commentary, etc I never try to say that I fully understand it or that I am grasping the deepest hidden meaning, but it is still the Absolute Truth, and I do attempt to bring it to an understandable level.

      My toughest job here is trying to explain on a simple level messages that Hashem gives us, the most difficult text in the world, ever. Most of the time I try to keep it simple, but only as a way of helping people, not in a way that I want to debate Torah scholars that have studied for decades. Could you imagine me trying to teach Quantum Physics or relativity at elementary school level? Well, this is much, much more difficult. If you see me cover a subject that you don't believe is the Absolute Truth, question me. That is why I have received over ten thousand Emails over the past four years. Nothing is simple, but I always try to give Hashem's opinion -- the Absolute Truth.

  10. Your teacher Mrs. AP. doesn't mean everyone's teacher. The fact Menachem allows comments means that a person can respond and discuss and that is ok and very Jewish too b"h

  11. Agreed. Respond and discuss is very much ok. What I was referring to and do not approve of is the blaming and the attacking. Discussion, yes but no to aggresion. Rav Menahem is everyone's teacher because the moment you stop, read the blog and engage in discussion you are learning and therefore growing. Respectfully, Ms.AP

  12. Maybe I missed something I have not seen blaming and attacking. There is a certain risk involved in a blog with the possibility for comments. I am sure Menachem is aware of this. Nice that you are taking it up for your teacher though.

  13. You may have missed the first few lines of paragraph # 6 of this posting. Some people who are not enjoying the message have been "scapegoating" Rav Menahem. Not fair, not nice. So i got upset...Ms. AP

    1. One very common characteristic trait of us human beings is pointing the finger and blaming others. We have a lot of trouble taking responsibility for our actions. It is one of the traits that require Teshuvah the most. It also is a trait that allows us to grow.

      As children we never do things wrong, in our own minds, it is always somebody else's fault. As we grow up we have to overcome that weakness and realize whatever happens to us in life is our doing and requires our fixing.

      How do we do that? It is completely doable with the commandments of the Torah. When we live Hashem's instructions in life, it all comes together and we gain control of how we treat ourselves, and accomplish life's challenges. In other words, we see our mistakes, we do Teshuvah to correct them and life goes on at a higher, happier, more productive level. Thank you, Hashem.

  14. Come on everyone, lets all calm down.. Its just the darn 'yetza hara', knowing he has but a little time left, trying utmost to get us all upset and angry.

    Let us come together, to do the best thing that Rav Menachem has basically stressed all along in his wonderful blog.. Absolute truth... and that is to do good deeds, repent (teshuva) and speak kindly.. Many many Rabbis, all over are stressing that too.

    If one needs to ask a question of Rav Menachem who in such stressful times, (and lets remember he is not young..) to ask in a very polite way. After all Rav Meanachem is just trying to help us who come here. He tries to do as Hashem wants.. that is so beautiful..

    Speaking for myself, a Noahide, i have learnt a lot from this blog of his.. and his book. He teaches from Torah.. so one can feel safe..
    Also i have also gained a lot from some few other blogs.

    I see also a lot of 'opinions' on some blogs based on their own views.. and so what... free is everyone to think and do as they want.
    But this blog.. of Rav Menachem.. i feel good here.. as repeat.. he speaks mostly from the Word of Hashem.. Torah.. and that is the best..
    Wish everyone all the best in these trying days.. lets just try to help each other and most of all hang on to the rope of Hashem..
    Amen and Amen..

    1. sc your wisdom inspires me. It is early in the morning for me, and you made my day. Thank you for coming to this blog and teaching us, we are blessed with you presence.

  15. Aw.. no no Rav, it is entirely your wisdom that has helped me and so many of us who come here.
    You are the Teacher, and a lot of us who come here your students.. :)

    Baruch Hashem!

    Geez..I sort of like what you said of me.... but really its not me.. its You.. really and your sharing freely your knowledge and wisdom..
    Hashem bless you Rav and ALL who come to this blog.. we are all .. uh.. can i say it.. "family'..
    Hashem bless each of you..

    1. When two people get together and one teaches, two actually learn. I have learned so much from students, B"H.